By\u00a0Alex Shafer<\/p>\n
I worked for over a year to get a student teaching placement abroad, only to be forced to travel home, internationally, after fewer than 2 weeks.<\/p>\n
To be honest, I felt safer where I was in France than I do here. I am angry that I was made to travel in the midst of a panic, when there were options that could have been discussed later. I am devestated that this student teaching placement was ripped away. I’m glad I am safe but I am absolutely crushed to be home.<\/p>\n
I am grateful to have made it through quarantine asymptomatic. I am grateful that my mom did the same. I am grateful I have a loving significant other to return home to. I am grateful I don’t have to worry about rent or food or potential healthcare bills.<\/p>\n
I am scared because this isn’t over. I am scared about what this means for the teaching profession, my profession. I am scared of the risk of still getting sick, or worse. I am scared of the possibility of a police state. I am scared of things returning to “normal”. I feel like everything that is happening now totally changes the things I have spent 5 years preparing for. Where can I live? Where can I work? How can I know?<\/p>\n
In the midst of feeling guilted to express gratitude for my privelage, I feel unable to express my anxieties and fears. My own mental health has taken such a toll, this is the lowest I’ve been since before I started therapy and antidepressants. I don’t mean to diminish the far more significant struggles that others have, for shelter, for food, for their lives. But the pain I feel is still immense and I have nowhere to place it. It just exists, throbbing, like wound being ignored. But I’m afraid that acknowledging it makes me a bad person.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By\u00a0Alex Shafer I worked for over a year to get a student teaching placement abroad, only to be forced to travel home, internationally, after fewer than 2 weeks. To be honest, I felt safer where I was in France than I do here. I am angry that I was made to travel in the midst […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n