{"id":3225,"date":"2026-02-05T15:18:34","date_gmt":"2026-02-05T20:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/?p=3225"},"modified":"2026-02-05T15:19:56","modified_gmt":"2026-02-05T20:19:56","slug":"the-power-of-saying-no-even-when-you-really-want-to-say-yes-a-university-student-perspective-by-madelyn-cook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/2026\/the-power-of-saying-no-even-when-you-really-want-to-say-yes-a-university-student-perspective-by-madelyn-cook\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Saying No, Even When You REALLY Want to Say Yes: A University Student Perspective by Madelyn Cook"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\n The Power of Saying No, Even When You REALLY Want to Say Yes: A University Student Perspective by Madelyn Cook\n <\/h1>\n \n \n <\/header>\n\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Power of Saying No, Even When You REALLY Want to Say Yes: A University Student Perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a university student, life often demands that we take on multiple roles at the same time. In addition to academics, many of us balance part-time employment, family obligations, and the maintenance of social relationships. For me, between lectures, assignments, work, family and social outings, my schedule is packed. As someone with a personality that wants to make everyone happy, suddenly, I find myself saying \u2018yes\u2019 to everything, even when I don’t actually have the time or energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a long time, I thought that saying \u2018yes\u2019 meant I was being kind, responsible and dependable. I would say \u2018yes\u2019 to extra tasks at work, \u2018yes\u2019 to helping a friend at the last minute, and \u2018yes\u2019 to a social outing even when I knew I had deadlines creeping up. I thought it would make me look like a better employee, friend or student. Though this approach was socially rewarding in the short term, it became increasingly unsustainable the more I took on. At surface level, I was good at managing everything, but in reality I felt constantly stressed, exhausted and quietly resentful; often letting myself down because I did not have the capacity to complete things the way I really wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was not until a manager took the time to sit with me and acknowledge my eagerness to take on extra responsibilities, while also reminding me there were others on my team that were capable of stepping up as well, that I truly understood the value of balance. I learned that burnout is real and that learning to say \u2018no\u2019 can be an act of courage as opposed to being seen as a weakness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is when I started to realize the power of saying \u2018no\u2019. I recognized that saying \u2018no\u2019 did not mean that I was lazy or selfish or uncaring, it meant that I was aware of my limits. As students, we are juggling a lot. School alone can be a full-time commitment and many of us also work to support ourselves. When we ignore our capacity limits and keep overcommitting, something eventually suffers; our mental health, our grades, our relationships or other areas of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learning to say \u2018no\u2019 has been a journey of exploring my personal values of growth, honesty and balance. When I say \u2018yes\u2019 to something that completely drains me or takes time away from my priorities, I am acting against those values. When I set boundaries, like not taking on extra tasks at work during exam week or asking to push a social plan back an extra day, I am acting in a way that is consistent with who I want to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me, setting boundaries was uncomfortable at first, especially as someone who considers herself a people pleaser. There was often guilt attached, and a fear of disappointing others. What I have learned however, is that disappointing myself and not being able to give 110% to every task or be fully present in every moment is far more damaging. Clear boundaries have<\/p>\n\n\n\n

made my relationships healthier; people know what to expect and know I can show up more present and more genuine when I truly have the capacity to. People understand that I am saying \u2018no\u2019 because it is a healthy option for me at that moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the biggest lessons I continue to learn is that saying \u2018no\u2019 to one thing is often saying \u2018yes\u2019 to something else. I am saying \u2018yes\u2019 to my well-being, \u2018yes\u2019 to my goals or \u2018yes\u2019 to a rest, (and rest isn’t a reward but a requirement)!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

University has been a time of growth, not just academically, but personally. Learning to say \u2018no\u2019 and to set boundaries to live in accordance with my values is a skillset that will follow me long after graduation. I am still figuring it all out and I don’t always get it right, but every time I choose honesty over obligation I feel a little more grounded, a little more fulfilled and A LOT more like myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By: Madelyn Cook<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Power of Saying No, Even When You REALLY Want to Say Yes: A University Student Perspective As a university student, life often demands that we take on multiple roles at the same time. In addition to academics, many of us balance part-time employment, family obligations, and the maintenance of social relationships. For me, between […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":489,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[42,22,33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grad-student-blogs","category-news","category-psychology-grad-student-blog"],"acf":{"cu_post_thumbnail":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/489"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3225"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3225\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3226,"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3225\/revisions\/3226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carleton.ca\/mental-health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}