Paul Menton Centre's Virtual Make the Cut 2020:
Video #8 - Guest Speaker - Daryl Rock - Transcript
[Music Playing]

PADDY STEWART:
Welcome back again! It is great to have you here at our Paul Menton Centre Make the Cut virtual session. Your being here means so much to me that I actually wrote a song for you. It really means a lot. So what I'd like you to do is ... as soon as I get back on the big screen in a moment here ... what we're going to do is like, We ... "We Will, We Will Rock You." You've got to go like this ... you got to go "stomp, stomp,  clap". You can do it sitting down or you do it standing up. [stomping feet, clapping hands] Let me hear you now [stomping feet, clapping hands] ... do it ... [singing] all you girls and boys, make a big noise, studying so hard, soon you're gonna graduate ... smile on your face, love this space, gonna transition all over the place, sayin' we will, we will, rock you. Uh. Uh. Oh yeah! I am glad you are staying loose. I am glad you are with us.

I have to tell you about two other special students, one student was from Mother Teresa School. They went on a, a tour. Their class went on a tour of the Coca-Cola plant and right afterward the teacher gave them a pop quiz. Pop Quiz ... Thank you ... thank you very much. And there was another student at Earle of March ... she changed her iPod name to Titanic ... because it's sinking now. Thank you ... thank you very much. So what we have coming up right now for you, as I had said before, we've got a very powerful speaker, after which we have our Student Success Panel and these are kids who are in high school like yourself ... kids with disabilities ... they are being very successful here at Carleton and they're going to tell you all about their tips and strategies of how they're making it there. So now I'm pass it over to Larry McCloskey, the director of the Paul Menton Centre to introduce our afternoon speaker. Larry, over to you.

LARRY MCCLOSKEY:
My name is Larry McCloskey I am the director of the Paul Menton Centre for Students with Disabilities and it is my privilege today to introduce you to Daryl Rock. Now Daryl Rock is a pretty incredible guy and he and I go way back. We are both old guys. I am old and he is incredible. We actually met in 1983, just after he was had his accident, in the rehab center here in Ottawa. I was his orderly briefly and then we soon met up actually when I had moved to Carleton and he started his degree and I had ... I was then called Coordinator for the Disabled. This is before the Paul Menton Centre for Students with Disabilities. He went on to do a Master's degree in Public Administration and then he had a very good career in the government as a senior federal public servant. And then he moved on into the private sector and he did volunteer work. He also is someone who has, throughout his life, he's taken on huge challenges, personal challenges. And he is a world traveler. He focuses on fitness and mental health. He is a planner - he's very, very strategic in his goals. And one of the things that struck me most about Daryl is, he told me early on and he's, he has said since that many times, that he had a lot of help after his accident. And this is a very difficult transition, but he remembered the help he got. And in particular, there was a mentor that he had that he felt really made a difference for him. He has literally spent 35 years since then paying it forward and giving back. So Daryl is here today to give you information that will really help you to be successful and I would pay attention. He is a passionate guy. He is as passionate about accessibility and social justice as he ever has been, and age does not deter that. So without any further ado, here's Daryl Rock. Thank you.

DARYL ROCK:
Good afternoon everyone. My name is Daryl Rock and as Larry mentioned in the introduction, I'm an alumni of Carleton University. I've been asked to speak with you today not simply because I'm an alumni, but because I'm also someone who has a disability and it was thought that my experiences at Carleton, given my disability and what I've learned from those experiences, might help you as you enter this new chapter in your life. In effect, what I'll share with you today will help you learn from my mistakes so that you don't have to repeat them. First let me tell you a little bit about myself. I come from a small town just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia. I was raised by a single mother. My mother and father divorced when I was very young. My family background is one where no one ever went to university and so the idea of going to university was not even discussed when I was growing up. When my mother and father divorced, I realized that life was fragile. I also learned through other experiences. When I was 13, my mother started dating another man. He died within six months and again that taught me about the fragility of life. It taught me to make every day count. I then applied myself at school because I knew I didn't want to stay in a small town in rural Nova Scotia and I knew without any funding, without any money from my parents - they didn't have any - the only way I could go to university was to get a scholarship and so I studied. I studied very early. When I was 13 in grade 8, they started streaming in our junior high school and if you want to go to university, you are already being streamed into certain courses and I took those courses. When I got to high school, it was the same thing - I took university-oriented courses and I studied because I knew if I was going to university, I needed to get a scholarship and to get a scholarship, I needed good marks. So, I studied. I got good marks and I got a scholarship. When I was 17 years old, I left Nova Scotia for Montreal and I started university in a small town just outside of Montreal. It was great! I was in an environment where I could learn. but more important, it was part of my goal for my future. I wanted a successful professional career. I wanted a career that took me to places all around the world and I knew the way to do that was through education. Unfortunately, after my first year of university, I had a car crash. It left me paralyzed from the neck down. I'm a c56 complete quadriplegic which means I've been using a wheelchair since my 19th birthday. Basically, I've been in a chair now for 37 years. The interesting thing about that crash wasn't just that physical trauma and not being able to walk again in all the various and sundry aspects of, health aspects, associated with quadriplegia, but more important to me, and more emotionally scarring I think, was my career that I chose, and my path I had chosen, was no longer an option and that scared me. For the first time in my life, I was lost. So, anyway fast forward, I went to rehab. I worked hard in rehab. I was encouraged by the medical staff and I started to plan again what my future would look like, and not surprisingly, that future included university. Again, I wanted to go to university. I wanted an education and, believe it or not, now it was even more critical because as a person with a disability, the employment prospects are a lot more limited than an able-bodied person. Heck, worst case scenario, as an able-bodied person, you can flip burgers at McDonald's or you can work at Tim Hortons. But, as a wheelchair user quadriplegic, 75 to 90% of the workforce was no longer an option, and I knew if I was going to get a job, if I was going to have a successful career, if I was going to have a fulfilling, happy life, I needed an education. So, I applied to Carleton and I got in. Before then, an interesting note, when I was getting ready to leave rehab (I spent four months there), my social worker wanted to put me into a group home and I said, "No, I want to live in the community." If I'm going to go to university, I want to live in the community and I want to have that level of independence. So, after much to-ing and fro-ing, I finally moved into the community. You see, I learned something important from this experience. I learned that you are the content expert of your own life. What I mean by that is that you have to be in control of your life. Experts are around you to guide you, to advise you, to support you. But you need to make the decisions. So, I guess my first lesson I'd like you to think about, or the first lesson to learn from is you are in control of your own destiny and you have to take responsibility for that. I have a friend of mine who passed away some years ago and he gave the commencement address at his high school graduation many years ago. And his, his title was "If it is to be, it is up to me" and I think that pretty well sums it. It's kind of cutesy but think about that ... if you want to succeed in life, you have to take charge. So, what else did I learn? Second, success is not handed to you - you have to work for it. Let me be clear ... no one is more invested in you than you are and nobody cares more than you do. Your parents want what's best for you. The system wants what's best for you, but ultimately you are in control and nobody cares more about your future than you do. Third, successful people understand that life is what you make it. Unsuccessful people, on the other hand, believe that life just happens and they make the best of what comes their way. My experience has been very different. I believe you are responsible for your own outcomes. Don't blame others. So often I hear people say, "Oh, it's my parents fault" or "It's the system's fault" or "It's this problem or it's this fault." Ultimately, it's up to us to make our path. Don't blame others. Don't blame your parents. Don't blame the system. Take control. That said, remember, and I can't emphasize this enough, no one achieves success on their own. Whatever success I have achieved in my life I have achieved it by working with others. I have a close network of friends and family, mentors, role models, community associations I'm engaged with. I encourage you as you head off to university to make a wide diversity of friends. Get to know some teachers. Learn as much you can from them. Identify role models and learn from them. Identify mentors and learn from them. Participate in school activities. Join clubs. Get involved in sporting activities if you like. Go to the pubs. Go out on dates. You'll stick out - there's no question. But who cares?! You're gonna stick out anyway. Not joining in, not developing these friendships, these networks will lead to social isolation and that'll make life that much harder. I've had one friend of mine who uses a chair say to me that her parents actively discouraged her from going to university and when she finally broke from home and went to university in a town far away, came back and started working in Ottawa, her parents were surprised that she was actually hired in the first place and then, when she told them how much money made, they were shocked that a disabled person could make that much money. You're always going to run into those attitudinal barriers ... for don't think for a minute that we've achieved a level of of inclusion and accessibility that allows mainstream to see us as equals. If you want to be treated as an equal, you're going to have to work 110 - 120% and that's just the reality. Another thing I've learned over the years is to dream big. Richard Branson, a very successful British entrepreneur, created Virgin Airlines, Virgin Rockets ... all the virgin industry organizations out there were created by Richard Branson. He once said, "You are either busy visiting your own dreams or you are busy building somebody else's dreams." So, dream big .... and similarly set big goals. Set goals for your education. When I went to Carleton, I was encouraged by the system to go to school part-time. I had a disability. I had limited hand function. "You should only take two courses, maybe three courses." But I knew if I wanted to work in life, if I want to work full-time in the world, that I'd like to have to learn how to be able to function on a full-time capacity. So, I took a full course load and it was difficult. I didn't have a note taker. We didn't have voice-activated computers in the 80s. So, I took notes. But I did it. I took four courses each semester and then each summer I took two extra courses. So, set goals for yourself, but set tough goals for yourself. You know what you can do. Set goals outside of work in school as well - whether it's dating, getting married, traveling the world. 30 years ago, I had the opportunity to go scuba diving in Australia, I never thought it would be possible - someone with my level of disability to dive and yet 30 years ago, a group of divers said, "Yeah, let's try" and that created a passion within me and a few years later, when I was back in Canada, I learned how to scuba dive properly. I was certified. And to this day, I travel around the world, diving in exotic places, usually somewhere sunny and warm in the winter time. So identify, set big goals and don't be afraid to push yourself. One of the things about setting goals is you're bound to fail. Nobody achieves 100 percent 100% of the time. In fact, successful people will tell you it's through failing that they get better. It's through persevering, through setting goals, trying, failing, getting back up again. And so, I encourage you to set goals at school. Set goals in your personal life. When it comes time to go in to work, set goals that challenge you and that aren't comforting. We call them "stretch goals". Set goals that challenge you to become better, to raise- rise through the ranks, to become successful, and ultimately when you look back, you'll have a fulfilling, satisfied life. One thing you're going to learn, if you haven't already, is that able-bodied people often don't understand what it's like to have a disability. They see someone with a disability as broken or they see the limitations ... "That poor guy in a wheelchair has a hard time getting through the door." They see the limitations ... they don't see the person. However, you know, my body might be limited, but my spirit is unstoppable ... and just keep remembering that - my body might be limited, but my spirit is unstoppable. Real strength doesn't come from the body anyway. It comes from within and I think you and me and others with disabilities have had enough experience to realize how true that is. One of the things I've also learned in life is it's going to be up to you to challenge yourself because others won't. Others will let you take the easy way out. You don't want to get up to go to class - they'll say that's fine. You don't want to get up to go to work, they'll say that's fine. The only person that's going to expect achievement from you will be you and I encourage you to think about that because it's easy to slack off. It's easy to take the easy way out. You already have an excuse - you have a disability. But if you want to be successful in life, if you want to get married, if you want to travel the world, if you want a thrilling, fulfilling job, if you want to contribute to the community, then you're going to have to challenge yourself and you're going to have to overcome the obstacles that are there physically, and you're going to have to overcome the obstacles that people put in your way because they will be put in your way. As I look back, I can honestly say, I am happy. I have a great wife. I have a great life. I have good health. My disability continues to be a reality. The world has not been overly accommodating, but that hasn't stopped me and I don't think it will stop you. If you go to school, if you challenge yourself, if you accept that you're going to fail, but try again, I guarantee you, you will have an awesome life and you'll look back like I am now and you'll say to others, like I am now, if it is to be, it is up to me. Remember those words. They may sound cute, but they're profound. So, let me summarize some of what I've learned over the years that I think will help you as you begin this new phase of your life. First, take control. Seek advice from others, but don't let others make decisions for you. They won't necessarily be in your best interest. Second, dream big and set big goals. Don't be afraid to try and don't be afraid to fail. Just get back up again. Failure not only develops character, it develops tenacity. And third, remember success is earned. It's not a right, nor is it given. Don't be afraid to try big things and don't be afraid to reach out to others for help. Successes are only increased when you share them with others. So, do these strategies work? Well, it's been 33 years since I graduated Carleton and I can say that my time there contributed 100 percent to my success in life. In my last year at Carleton University, I had the opportunity to do a co-op placement in the federal government. I was doing my master's in public administration at the time. This placement not only led to my first job, but it led to what was the first step in an awesome 20-year career in the federal public service. The Carleton School of Public Administration still offers a co-op option. My career in the federal public service provided me with the opportunity to travel across Canada and around the globe. It also allowed me to work in different countries. I worked in Australia. I worked in Dubai and I even did a stint in London, England. And it led to success in other aspects of my life. I have been happily married to a wonderful woman for more than 18 years. I recently did a world cruise where I visited more than 40 countries around the globe and I continue to travel the world, both for pleasure and for work. And I also scuba dive in exotic places all around the world. While I've had many successes along the way, I've also had many failures. I have experienced many challenges, some of them health-related, some of them work-related, and some of them relationship-related. But as- but as I said, failing is not bad, not getting back up again is. Along the way I have gathered many great friends, role models, and mentors that I still see and communicate with on a regular basis. As I look back, I can honestly say that my time at Carleton, while sometimes difficult because of my disability and also because of my attitude, contributed to a wonderful life and I look forward to many more years of continuous wonder and adventure. early in my life, I adopted a mantra - the joy is in the journey. I encourage you to see your time at Carleton University as the beginning of a great journey. One last thing I'd like you to encourage you to do -  commit to lifelong learning. There are so many things I have learned in these past 56 years, but there are just as many left for me to learn. Take care, stay well and stay safe.

AMANDA BLAIS:
A big thank you to Daryl Rock for his inspirational words in terms of being a student that engages in their own studies, being a student that knows essentially, like, how to ask for help, and know that it's important to ask for help, and have the attitude to be able to acknowledge that that is something that you need to do, as well as looking forward to potential employment opportunities. That's definitely something that we here at Carleton encourage our students to do right from the beginning is try and make those connections between what you're learning in school and how you want to apply that to future career. I know in high school right now you're like, I'm just trying to figure out what program I want to go into. But again, we see students switch programs all the time, change their mind about various things, and there are a lot of supports on campus to help with that.