By Jade Hose
It’s been two weeks in this room. I have not fully grasped the enormity of what has happened. I was already living alone, and barely interacted with people. Small circle of friends who I met once in fortinight, and spoke to family in as many days. Hence the social-distancing thing should not have been difficult. But it is. I find myself anguished, deeply lonely and unanchored. I think I am most shaken by this absence of anchor in my life. I thought life was meaningless, and now the immediacy of death or its fear is numbing me. I don’t make sense of it. But I am scared for death impacting my loved ones. It’s frightening, and it’s paralyzing. And I barely make any sense when I write or talk.
It’s all weird. Not that I don’t busy myself with shows, reading, and hour-long walks. But it’s all surreal. I don’t know.