By Taylor

I’ve had a pain in my chest for two weeks. No it’s not the virus. It’s just my anxiety.

Ever since we got word that the schools are closing, my life as a teacher has been thrown for a loop. Coming back to my parent’s house from Maryland was the only choice for me. My whole family is in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, as well as my boyfriend, while I usually live and work in Maryland. It’s tough, but I knew this was the right choice.

I spent a week at my boyfriend’s apartment, trying to do work, trying to stay distracted enough with games and puzzles. Then I needed to go home, not only to have my own space, but because my family is also going crazy. My mom is out of work right now, my brother is supposed to be starting online school for his senior year and he is a ball of anger, and my dad is a charge nurse at one of the busiest ERs in the area.

Every day i worry about what is going to happen. Every day I see the number get higher and higher and then we passed Italy in China in infections. This is not OK. I’m trying to put together virtual lessons for Kindergarten art in a poverty ridden area. I’m trying to stay in contact with my co-workers who are 300 miles away. I’m trying to stay positive, even though everything I have looked forward to has been cancelled, and I’m allowed to be disappointed. I’m trying to not think about what my dad walks into every day at his job, and what he could be bringing home. I’m trying not to think about how long it might be before I get to see my boyfriend again; I can’t go back to his place as I may have been exposed to the virus, and also his county is on a stay at home order. I’m trying not to think about the asshole sitting at 1600 Pennsylvania who knew that this was coming and keeps fucking us over.

If I die from this disease, put my corpse on the steps of the White House, because it will be his fault. It is his fault there aren’t enough masks to protect my dad. It’s his fault there aren’t enough ventilators and people are dying. Fuck this. Fuck 45. I want life to return to normal.