By Michelle Lesley Annett
What day is it again? I ask myself this question multiple times a day.
Today marks day 12 of practicing self isolation and I’ve been attempting to cope with the repercussions of my declining health, loneliness, depression, anxiety and feelings of helplessness. It has not been easy, yet I recognize my privilege in the midst of it all.
Isolation has been quite a blur. I went from living with 5 roommates to 1 in the span of 24 hours. The only roommate that remains is employed by an essential service, meaning we are having to practice social distancing from one another to protect my health. It is an eerie feeling to live in a busy house within the city but only hear silence all around you.
Days are long, yet they remain unproductive. I’m lacking motivation, or rather, am faced with so much anxiety that I feel incapable of doing my work. I have made it a goal to keep up with my hygienic practices, not skip any of my medical treatments and continue to prioritize measures to protect myself, as I suffer from three autoimmune disorders. These tasks may seem small to many, but in the grand scheme of things I recognize them as small accomplishments.
I try to find silver linings every day. Today I am grateful because I was able to spend an hour on the phone with Nanny— something I am unable to do on a regular basis. But silver linings aren’t so easy to find. I fear for the well-being of workers who have been laid off. I am worried how my classmates are coping with isolation, as grad school is quite isolating in and of itself. I stress about how my family will cope with these changes in the economy.
Day by day I reflect on what’s happening around me and analyzing my own feelings as they come and go. I will continue to reflect on the feelings I experience (and witness), but will limit my reflections to feelings in which I am comfortable discussing. Creating and respecting boundaries remains critical in vulnerable times like this.
Wash your hands, take care of your emotional well-being and do not feel shame in relying on all forms of support/ resources available to you. Be kind to yourself, your loved ones and your neighbours. Be mindful, but remain hopeful. As put by the cast from High School Musical; “We’re all in this together”.