As Reading Week approaches, we’re also getting closer to Valentine’s Day. Regardless of whether you’re planning to cozy up with your partner, a pint of ice cream, or a midterm exam (sorry) this Friday, it’s hard to ignore Valentine’s Day. Shops have been plastered in red and pink for weeks, and chocolate prices seem to have skyrocketed. So, there’s no better time to ask ourselves about the connection between love and language!
Most people have some language attitudes, ways they perceive certain languages or ways of speaking. For example, Spanish, Italian, and French are often said to sound ‘romantic’, due to the perceived pleasantness of their sounds and rhythm.1
In fact, a lot of people are studying foreign languages at least in part because they sound nice (guilty as charged!).2
Languages like German or Arabic, on the other hand, are described as ‘harsh’ more frequently than not.3
There’s little science to support these views, though. A 2020 study found that cultural stereotypes played a big role in participants’ language attitudes, but familiarity with the language, sonority (how loud a language is), and even a given speaker’s voice were all factors in how positively a language was rated.4
So, for instance, if you grew up hearing German from your neighbors, listening to German music, and occasionally visiting Germany, then you’re going to be more likely to find German a pleasant-sounding language than someone who’s only just hearing it for the first time!
Of course, language attitudes are normal things to have. Even a trained linguist might think French sounds more romantic than German, despite knowing there’s no scientific basis for this. But it’s interesting to reflect on these attitudes; where do they come from, and are they actually true when you think about it in an unbiased way?
You might just find that “every language is beautiful regardless of its phonetic properties and sociocultural background, and it is only a matter of time… and willingness to discover its hidden gems before they are revealed in all their splendor.”5
Just because languages aren’t inherently romantic, though, that doesn’t mean language and love are entirely unrelated!
Romantic relationships can be extremely beneficial in your language learning journey. Whether you’re learning a language your partner already speaks –in which case they can be a great source of native speaker input–, or you and your partner are learning the same foreign language together, having a supportive and encouraging language learning partner is key to improving your conversational skills and fluency in your target language!6
Online dating, for instance, often brings together people from different linguistic backgrounds, and can be a great motivation to learn other languages. Just be careful not to fall for a scam!
If romance isn’t your thing, then finding the time to chat in your target language with a good friend, or brushing up your skills at the LLRC’s conversation groups can be just as helpful!
Love can also influence the way we speak beyond foreign language learning. There’s a natural tendency in humans to pick up the speech patterns of people we spend a lot of time with – whether it’s a prosodic template (a fixed intonation pattern used in particular types of sentences), accent, or frequently-quoted meme, the more time we spend with someone, the more likely we are to imitate their speech, and they are to imitate ours (through a process called “language convergence”).
Alternatively, think about the ways our voices may change when speaking to someone we love. This can be something as simple as speaking more gently with a beloved grandparent, to convey care and concern. It can also look like unconscious changes to the phonetic qualities of our speech; in fact, multiple studies have found that people tend to speak with a lower pitch when they’re speaking to someone they consider attractive!7
Perhaps one of the most profound effects of love on language, though, is its ability to determine the future of language – which languages continue to be spoken (language maintenance), and which ones, regrettably, are forgotten (language shift and language death).8
Multilingual relationships and multilingual families are incredibly common, but they certainly don’t all look the same! There’s families who adopt the so-called OPOL (one-parent-one-language) method of raising their child, and those who freely mix their household’s many languages; neither method is inherently better, and both will lead to bilingual children.
But, a belief in the disadvantages of bilingualism is widespread, and it is not uncommon for people in multilingual relationships to choose to raise their kids as monolinguals. This may be the language that both parents speak – for example, a couple who both speak Mandarin, whereas only one of them speaks Hokkien, may choose to raise their child speaking exclusively Mandarin.
A large part of this lies in the common misconception that learning multiple languages will confuse a child or delay its development. Actually, bilingualism has cognitive benefits, and even young children show an ability to differentiate between their native languages.9
However, there’s also the consideration of English as a global language; as English continues to establish its position as the world’s most powerful language, many parents may elect to teach their children English from an early age, in the hope that it will grant them more and better opportunities later in life. This will often be the case when the parents use English as the “lingua franca” (a shared language used by people of different native languages) in their household. For instance, if one partner natively speaks German and the other natively speaks Hindi, they may use English to speak to each other, and also to their child.
Make no mistake, linguistic prestige is alive and real. It is undeniable that there are concrete advantages to being a native English speaker. Nonetheless, there is great value in choosing to raise one’s children speaking two (or more!) languages, even if neither of these is English!
More languages always means more opportunities, which can have social, educational, cultural, and economic benefits.
Being raised bilingual also allows children to stay connected to their cultural heritage and have a sense of cultural belonging, improves their self-esteem, allows them to communicate with distant relatives, and increases their sources of learning and culture-specific knowledge!10
Perhaps the most profound, though least salient, reason for raising bilingual children is to do it for the love of the language – in other words, if you can raise your child speaking a language, why not? It might be the linguist in me, but I think languages are one of the most beautiful, fascinating, and complex phenomena out there – the thing is, though, they don’t exist outside of their speakers! A language is the community that speaks it, and so if we want to preserve the wealth of linguistic diversity we see in the world, then we have to be the ones to keep speaking and promoting the use of those languages.
The decision of which languages to raise your child speaking is not an easy one; it is fraught with family-internal as well as societal considerations.11
What is clear, though, is that we have the power to affect not only the ways future generations speak, but the existences of our languages themselves – all it takes is a little bit of love.
So, who knows, maybe you just need to fall in love with a foreign language speaker for you to fall in love with their language too… or vice versa. Either way, love and language are both indispensable features of human life –– it’s no wonder the two affect each other in profound ways.
Reminders
Linguavision’s 10th anniversary is approaching! Come join us on April 9th from 7-10pm in the Kailash Mital Theatre. Entry is FREE!
Follow us on Instagram and Facebook
References
1 Reiterer, S. M., Kogan, V., Seither-Preisler, A., & Pesek, G. (2020). Foreign language learning motivation: Phonetic chill or Latin lover effect? Does sound structure or social stereotyping drive FLL?. Psychology of Learning and Motivation, 72, 165–205.https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.plm.2020.02.003.
2 Reiterer, S. M., Kogan, V., Seither-Preisler, A., & Pesek, G. (2020). Foreign language learning motivation: Phonetic chill or Latin lover effect? Does sound structure or social stereotyping drive FLL?. Psychology of Learning and Motivation, 72, 165–205.https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.plm.2020.02.003.
3 Reiterer, S. M., Kogan, V., Seither-Preisler, A., & Pesek, G. (2020). Foreign language learning motivation: Phonetic chill or Latin lover effect? Does sound structure or social stereotyping drive FLL?. Psychology of Learning and Motivation, 72, 165–205.https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.plm.2020.02.003.
4 Reiterer, S. M., Kogan, V., Seither-Preisler, A., & Pesek, G. (2020). Foreign language learning motivation: Phonetic chill or Latin lover effect? Does sound structure or social stereotyping drive FLL?. Psychology of Learning and Motivation, 72, 165–205.https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.plm.2020.02.003.
5 Reiterer, S. M., Kogan, V., Seither-Preisler, A., & Pesek, G. (2020). Foreign language learning motivation: Phonetic chill or Latin lover effect? Does sound structure or social stereotyping drive FLL?. Psychology of Learning and Motivation, 72, 165–205.https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.plm.2020.02.003.
6 Geacone-Cruz, J. (2018). 4 Benefits to Learning a Language with Your Romantic Partner. Lingvist. https://lingvist.com/blog/4-benefits-to-learning-a-language-with-your-romantic-partner/#:~:text=If%20you’re%20learning%20with,together%20as%20a%20learning%20pair
7 Hughes, S.M., Farley, S.D., Rhodes, B.C. (2010). Vocal and Physiological Changes in Response to the Physical Attractiveness of Conversational Partners. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 34, 155–167. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10919-010-0087-9
8 De Klerk, V. (2010). The Cross-Marriage Language Dilemma: His Language or Hers. International Journal of Bilingual Education and Bilingualism, 4(3), https://doi.org/10.1080/13670050108667728.
9 Lightbown, P. M. and Spada, N. (2021). How Languages are Learned (5th ed.). Oxford University Press.
10 Lightbown, P. M. and Spada, N. (2021). How Languages are Learned (5th ed.). Oxford University Press.
11 De Klerk, V. (2010). The Cross-Marriage Language Dilemma: His Language or Hers. International Journal of Bilingual Education and Bilingualism, 4(3), https://doi.org/10.1080/13670050108667728.