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Drives

I got my tonsils out when I was five. Before that, I used to get ear aches a lot. It hurt when the wind blew in my ears so Mom made me wear old-fashioned kerchiefs that covered my head down to my shoulders. It hurt when I got water in my ears so Mom made me wear hideous bathing caps with spiky things poking out all over when I went swimming. I felt ugly and freakish and they didn’t help my ear aches anyway.

Dad loved convertibles and, often on Sundays, our family would go for long drives with the top down. That was torture because driving fast created wind. Back then, there were no seat belt laws, in fact most cars didn’t even have seat belts. I’d lie on the floor in the back of the car and there was nothing enjoyable about that. I was excluded from conversations because I couldn’t hear what everyone else was saying. And, no matter where we went, the only scenery I saw was the floor or the sky, depending on which way I faced.

When Mom drove during the week, she left the top up so at least I didn’t suffer from the wind. Mike and I weren’t allowed in the front and we’d sit at opposite sides, close to the windows. Sometimes he’d touch me or make faces at me, or I’d do that to him, and that would set us off on a fight. Mom would yell at us to stop but, of course, that didn’t end things. When we got to where we were going, she’d smack us both to teach us a lesson. Once, when she was yelling at us, she backed into a car and that was our fault because we’d distracted her.

To this day, I hate road trips. I don’t get ear aches anymore and everybody I drive with gets along well but I don’t understand why people like to drive just for the sake of driving. I feel the same about boats.