I sit exhausted by the fireplace. The rust-coloured upholstery of the chair is worn and weary, as am I. I hear the crunch of his steps on broken glass as he paces the hardwood floor upstairs. I prefer not to listen, but it is unavoidable. With each step it is as if a chard pierces my soul. I picture the frames, glass, and photographs that litter the hallway – his sister, his brother, his son, himself. Tears roll silently down my cheeks. It is Family Day.
The photographs weren’t special. Several were from sittings at Sears when it existed and offered special packages that one could gift to relatives. My parents had done the same when I was a child, although it was often combined with a trip to the dentist as we didn’t go to the city often. It was a yearly outing. As for my own children, I remember them enjoying getting dressed up for their photo shoots. After arriving at the store, however, they would have much preferred staying in the toy department, which always seemed to be strategically located near the photographer. They certainly were not always keen to smile for the camera. Sometimes the photographer would manage at least a goofy grin out of them. Pretty much always we would buy the package so we could officially chronicle their growing up, even though the candid shots we took told the story better.
Several of the photographs were school photos. Again, a way to chronicle years. As parents we had even less control over those. We would dutifully send the children with hair combed and clothes in order. For two of our three children, that was usually how they stayed. But the one currently pacing upstairs had often marched to a different drummer and by the time it was his turn for a photo, he had usually changed his clothes and made a supreme effort to turn his fine blond hair into some sort of new coiffeur, often a “mohawk”! At least the photos themselves had not been damaged in the rampage. I would be able to reframe them when I regained some emotional strength. But for now the glass crunches loudly under his feet. It is Family Day.