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Valentine’s Day is almost here! Whether you love using this holiday to profess your love to your significant other, or you dislike ‘Hallmark holidays’ in general, it provides an opportunity for the community to discuss consent, sexual health and substance use.
No one deserves or asks to be sexually assaulted, no matter their use of drugs or alcohol. Consent can not be given while high, drunk, or otherwise impaired. Period.
Remember that consent:
- Is freely and expressly given. It’s not just about ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Coercion and pressure are not a part of consent.
- Is current and can be taken away at any point in time. Just because someone has consented to sexual acts in the past does not automatically mean they are currently consenting. Ask and check in consistently with your partner.
- Is enthusiastic and enjoyable. Sex should be fun for everyone involved! Ask if they are comfortable, are enjoying themselves, if it feels good, etc.
Check out this Consensual Sex Guide (pdf, 212KB) resource from the Carleton University Sexual Assault Support Centre (CUSASC).
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, know that you are not alone, it is not your fault and that there are many supports and resources available to you. There are both Carleton-specific and off-campus supports and more info and resources available from CUSASC.
Some things to consider for your sexual health while going out with friends or partying:
- Set your intentions for the night. Are you just looking for a night out with friends, or are you interested in meeting new people or even a hook-up partner? Share your goals with the friends you are going out with so they can help keep you safe.
- Use the buddy system. Stick with friends, but have someone you know and trust with you for the night and help keep each other safe.
- Always have protection on hand. There are many places to get free condoms and other protections (female condoms, dental dams, etc.), like the Women’s Centre. You can even have protection mailed directly to you from Ottawa Public Health.
- If using drugs or alcohol, remember that consent cannot be given while high or drunk.
Just as everyone can benefit from checking in on their mental health, everyone can benefit from checking in on their substance use health. Carleton students have access to TAO and can take advantage of its alcohol and drug use assessment tool. Another great evaluation and support resource is Wellness Together Canada. The Carleton Wellness website has many resources to support your your mental and physical wellness.
Come to a Carleton All People All Pathways peer support meeting to talk about what substance use health means to you, or anything else you wish to discuss. As the name suggests, anyone is welcome, whether directly or indirectly affected by substance use or addiction, or even if you just want to learn more. The meetings are non-committal and confidential and provide a non-judgmental and safe environment for those seeking help or to ask questions, free from stigma, alienation, or discrimination.
These meetings have been made available in partnership with the Community Addictions Peer Support Association. The dates, times and links for the meetings are as follows (keep up to date with any changes by visiting the Carleton Umbrella Project Supports and Resources webpage):
- Student meeting: Thursdays from 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.
Zoom link
Meeting ID: 929 8756 9610
Password: 787302 - Staff meeting: Wednesdays from 1:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.
Zoom link
Meeting ID: 993 9326 6953
Password: 22294
If you need further assistance, or more information about harm reduction, contact the Office of Student Affairs’ Harm Reduction and Conduct Manager, Dillon Brady.
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